View point versus reality

In a recent controversy, a renowned actress was targeted by a media company over the visibility of her cleavage in one of her public appearances. There were lot of questions raised related women respect, news coverage quality, media responsibility, objectification of women in india, so on and so forth. There was like a war going on twitter. Inside of all this the actress expressed herself through her writing and then she shared with the public. In a way, she raised her voice against the treatment given to a female in India. I read that article over and over again where she is expressing her point of view. And then there are her followers and admirers who are supporting her. More than 1.5lac people liked her article. So let's look at what is a point of view and what is real here. As a human being she has a body of a female. A female body has breasts. For all human beings, I would like to remind you that breasts are not only a sex symbol, it's a nature gift to feed a new born. The reporter who has made this headline, was also once fed (maybe). The actress has a breast that creates a cleavage on centre of her upper body. So?  In reality it means nothing. Nothing absolutely nothing. Now from here, what meaning you want to add or create is upto you. So let me add a meaning here that there is nothing on this earth that can give disrespect to such a thing even if it is zoomed with best of the camera lenses on this earth. The visible cleavage or for that matter a nude body does not have a meaning attached to it called disrespect. One needs to clearly think and see the difference between what's real and what is the meaning you are attaching with it. It is your responsibility for the meaning that you create; everywhere and all the time. Yes, the actress pointed out one more this - context. Context of an entertainment section of a media coverage for having a lose talk and encouraging gossip is surely justified. After all that gives great readership. The intention of the media is fulfilled here. But who has given this meaning that the famous people should face the brunt of it. They are into a profession which gets lot of money and attention. So you create a viewpoint that any crap would create a headline? Gossip is a disease. One tries to peek into other people lives just to check if their lives are worse than us. Believe me you are already living in hell if you are gossiping. You need to clean your thoughts. It's time to introspect.

Love
Robbie

The Life I Love!

Normally a human being is stuck up in his life judging right or wrong, agreeing or disagreeing, winning or losing. I realized that my entire life is either full of complaints or I am running endlessly towards achieving goals. To realize further, life becomes dull, hollow and meaningless because I find nothing beyond the two aspects - complaints and strong suits (strong suits- A being of having a set of strengths to survive in this world).

Guess what, this is not the end. This is just the beginning of self realization. It now tells me that I can have the power to choose. Choose to what to choose, Positivity or complaints? When I Choose beyond reasons, resignation, cynicism and resolution that life is like that only, I get awakened to love and affinity for people around me and can get back love, my vitality and well being is in-tact, there is fulfillment and satisfaction for the work I do and finally my self expression comes back into power. This can only happen when I choose the way I want to lead my life. That is, taking such an action so to achieve the objective of my life, which is to live happily, peacefully, stress free with complete aliveness and excitement.

The confronting part in here is bifurcating my "Identity" and my "Self". The entire technique is of mastering one's own identity so that the self can choose powerfully. This power helps me to identity what's REAL so that I can achieve the objective of my life. When we think about the future, we expect something to achieve but we lose power on the way because of some imagined threats. The self, controls those thoughts, feelings and beliefs and masters the identity which is actually creating all this. Finally when the self and identity are in line, we achieve anything and everything in life.

Life - A chocolate mould

One day my wife was preparing her delicious home-made chocolate and I was given the work of wrapping them up. As usual I was lost in my thoughts staring at one of the mould slabs that had different shapes and sizes. Suddenly I was thrilled to feel that the slab had the entire meaning of life hidden in it. While you were thinking that I had gone crazy, my wife politely asked me "How?"

Well, the answer was simple. If you look at the different spheres of life - profession, family life, social life and your personal time that you spend with your own self are life's different moulds. The way you shape them up and the flavors you add, would eventually give you the taste of life.

The chocolate making process and life got co-related in a very out of the ordinary way with a recent incident. We (My wife and I) were exhibiting our chocolates in a mall and there I bumped into my old classmate who was running one of his showrooms there. Sitting with him and listening to his different business ventures, it was getting impossible to really gauge his wealth then. To avoid feeling awkward any further, I simply asked him, “So, you must be having fun of your life with your family and friends!” His straight answer made me feel so miserable for him. I really thought at that moment that I was the richest of all. He said, “Brother, today is Sunday and I’m in my office. I even have to go to my other offices for routine visits. My wife does not like socializing and neither do I. I think dining out with friends is just waste of time. Even going out for movie is stupid. But for change, I go once in two months. I go out to foreign trips for business only but alone as my wife doesn’t like that either.”

So, it seemed the work mould was getting filled up or rather over flowing and the cocoa beans were getting over burnt to make the chocolate taste too bitter to enjoy.

I don’t really want to get too critical for this richly-poor guy. Yes, he is enjoying his life in his own “sweet” way. He is looking at life with a different perspective unlike me. But my simple question to people like these is when you are on your death bed, would you ever think that did I miss anything in life or what I earned in life is all what I really wanted? For me, this seems be a mould slab which has just one pocket filled and rest all empty. So eventually, I’m not getting the value for the life I spent.

When I keep writing all this, a very strong question pops up in my mind that has mankind really found a holistic answer to the reason of his very existence? If I club all the different spheres and name it the real reason, am I getting close? Hmmm, you can ponder on this later.

A human has a tendency to forget that he or she would never take the materialistic thing along after death. The meaning of life is veiled under those colorful wrappers that you open, just to lick on to the mouth-watering multi-flavored, multi-shaped chocolates. They are in the form of reasonable amount to spend for you and your family while getting satisfaction in your professional work, keeping in touch with your friends, bringing up your children by spending quality time with them and providing them with best possible education and cultural values. There is so much effort behind all this that helps you to build the shape of life. This is like how big and tastier the chocolate is.

Getting back to our chocolate stall, a child visited and started pleading to his father for a piece of chocolate. The father snubbed him and harshly took him away. The child cried, sprawled on the ground and did every possible move but all in vain. I wondered that for a petty demand, if you can really thwart your child’s excitement? Have you forgotten that one day you would be old, weak and financially dependent? On the contrary, we you had smiled, handed him a piece and held his hand as you are with him forever, the child would have remembered this for years to come.

On reading this, you might have an argument to make that not everyone gets a satisfactory job or healthy family culture or even basic human needs. Well, the contradiction to this is simple. There are different qualities of chocolates available in stores. The point is how you enjoy, stay happy and live your life with full satisfaction.

Pursuit of Happiness

Pursuit of Happiness

Interviewer: So, Mr. Harmeet, tell me, what is the ultimate goal of your life?
Harmeet: Sir, I want to be happy.
Interviewer: And how do you seek that?
Harmeet: Sir, to tell you the truth, I’m still trying to figure that out, but all I know is whatever I do, at the end of the day, I get a peaceful and a sound sleep.
Interviewer: Thank you, Mr. Harmeet. It was rejuvenating, talking to you.

It’s a remarkable quote, “The road to happiness is always under-construction.”
Getting two meals per day is bliss for a pauper. Ringing up the ladders of success at work is ecstasy. A lad getting his love line underway on the Valentine’s day is paradise. A candy to an adolescent brings a smile on his face. The tune of accolades for a performer is a great pleasure. So, it depends upon one’s age, individuality and circumstances. The various facets that I figured out to attain happiness were very fundamental. These are love, wealth, health, career, societal, humanitarian, entertainment & recreational. They all instigate one’s emotions. (We cannot miss to mention the Maslow’s theory of motivation here for sure.) These (emotions) have their respective effects depending upon the outcome. There is a very thin line between fulfilling the basic needs and greed. The pre-requisite of joy is by clinging to ethics, dearth of which can only make you feel miserable.
Therefore, with the potpourri of all these factors and aspects, I can only say that the road to happiness starts with assorted lanes, which after converging, emerge at a well-built boulevard of contentment.

The Moments were gay but not happy

Hello friends,
My writings are taking a new twirl today. The title that you have just read isn't funny as it seems to be. Here, I am talking about a very serious concern. This is regarding a real tragedy that occurred in one of my friends' life. She, a caring, homely and a god fearing person migrated to U.S. with her family some years ago. Like any true Indian married an Indian guy who was settled in U.S. Rather than the "lovey dovey" moments to share, she faced the horrors of her life. She found her husband to be a gay. He married a woman to hide his homosexuality from the world. Even his parents deliberately never accepted the fact. Rather, they threatened the girl, if she speaks against him or his family. She was ill-treated, bullied for two years. The "Indian girl", never came out of the shell, until this year she decided to get separate. Fellows, I need your help. Let us all spread this to give her justice and to expose the person and that family so that they don't do it someone else. Why just them, we should set example for others who have these evil intentions.

I want you guys to copy and paste the above and send it across to all the people you know across the globe.

SIMPLICITY HAS COST TO PAY

Sometimes things aren’t that complicated, the way we think they are. One of the biggest virtues of humanity is forgiveness. Lot of things get simplified by just forgiving and forgetting. We just need to give a damn about things disconcerting us in daily life. Everybody make mistakes. With everybody I mean everybody, even the plaintiff. That doesn’t mean we keep on pointing out those mistakes now and then to make the other person feel culpable. Take it light. Despite the difference in opinion, think and talk about things that went positive. Do not jump to conclusions. Take the discussion to a different note. More importantly, speak politely. You are still coupled to the accused. You have shared beautiful memories. You explored the meaning of a major part of life with the person. Just think once before you use harsh words. Has the accused done such a mammoth thing that has changed the course of relationship or would your words change it later? Secondly, do the warm gestures of the accused in the past are worth enough to compensate for the mistakes or did the person really deserve the bricks and bats for the doings? Think what you missed for those moments. You would have shared the smiles instead. You would have discussed the nice things that happened in the day. So think. Think deeply. Think Simple.

Jai Baba Love Guru !!

Robbie narrates the "speech" of a Love Guru

I went to a wedding last week and came across a group of people who were discussing about the success of love marriage over an arranged marriage. A very opinion-based discussion but let it be. So among them was a "Love Guru" who was gifting gyan on how to carry a successful love relationship. He wasn't that high, so we gladly grasp the tricks.

He started with his one of the most interesting and commonly heard cases. The couple were having frequent quarrels over the issue of not having "adequate space".

The girl was accusing the guy for being over-possessive and the guy was complaining that she spends lesser time with him. So on listening to this, before we could comment on anything, the guru instructed us not to find faults in any of them. The mantra, he says, is not finding faults in the other person but understanding the other's perspective. He goes on by saying that he took the feedback from the couple separately. The girl said that she has lot other priorities in life and she wants to accomplish her tasks with complete concentration. At that time she doesn't even want to attend her boyfriend's call. The guy, on the other hand says that I can't think of anything else but her, so all he wants is to be with her or talk to her. Suddenly, the irresistible factor plunged in one of us with a query, "Does that mean, the guy loves the girl more than she does?" And not surprisingly, he vomited, "May be the girl in cheating on him. I know, all females have the tendency to do that." The guru pronounced, "My dear friend, you are suffering from Generic Perception syndrome."

Now the next step for the guru was to stimulate the couple's thinking process. Firstly, he had to cure the girl's behavioral attitude towards the guy when she is busy with her work. The guru just simply asked her that during working hours on phone, did she ever tried talking to the guy so to make him feel warm and also making him understand, the kind of pressure and tension she goes through? Because that will not only make him feel secure but also make him understand her perspective while on work. The girl realized it instantly and she felt better within. Then the guru went to the guy and advised him to identify his own-self and to work on his self-esteem. The guru made him focus on the goal to be achieved in his life so that we can stand tall and build his own persona.

Now the couple, not just are staying happily together, but growing well with their individualities. Thanks to Love Guru for he made that wedding possible ;-)

Sab Mard ek jaise hote hain...hun

Robbie speaks on ... well very difficult to give a title to this topic...

I thought I've been very wishy-washy in my writings, so I should come to the original me and attract some controversies. This "no name" topic is like adding fuel to the fire. There are some cliche' that you come across everyday like "all men are the same","You know women, they are like that"and so on and so forth. Firstly, I salute to the lion hearts who wrote books like "men are from Mars and women are from Venus" and "Why men don't listen and women can't read maps". They have done a good job to make us understand the psyche and at the end only to confuse us more.

I have heard people saying that a man and a woman are like poles apart. And immediately they will throw the next statement saying that opposite attracts. Amazing! Isn't it?

There were few points that I absorbed from my readings and I would like to brief in here.

1) Men are target oriented. They want to complete the work in a stipulated time. So "people" who wonder how men shop 4 shirts, 2 trousers and 1 pair of shoes in 15 minutes, would now understand what I mean. Unlike women for whom shopping is like a sport and a stress buster.

2) Women are bad drivers. Provoking statement? Well don't get furious honey! Spatial intelligence is what you lack.

3) Kitty party is the best example that explains the prophecy that women are going to speak and listen to each others' fireworks simultaneously. Why? Astonishingly both the hemispheres of their brain work harmoniously. Men "sadly" can do just one thing at one time.

4) Men are found ogling. On the other hand, if you are a smart guy, you would only be able catch a woman checking you out with a skewed sight. The reason is simple, men have tunneled-shaped vision and females have wide angled vision.

Now, who is better, a man or a woman?

Assertiveness ... Part 2

Let me just come back to one of my previous posts on assertiveness. Assertiveness is sporadic in nature and there is one more moot point in here and that is "relationship". Behavior differs in every situation and in every relationship. Say, one could be befittingly assertive with one's friends but becomes submissive with one's love.

Normally, I have seen people submissive in two ways. One, as a fear of losing the loved ones. Second is when you don't want to enter into any kind of trouble, so you timidly gulp the cacophonous acidic words. The normal tendency is to get aggressive during a tense situation. So how to handle it? Ignoring isn't a bad idea until a certain limit. Now again, what should be termed as a "limit"?

There are two domains, public and a private domain. Lets say, while introducing yourself in a new place, you talk about your public profile. With your friends, you share your personal profile. Likewise, you are comfortable till a general leg-pulling but until some big-mouth starts passing personal comments. This means that someone is trying to infiltrate your private domain without your consent. That is the time when you should assert by putting your message across about prohibiting the pervasion. That is, telling the person about the hit, the damage and the repair. For instance, a person insults you. Tell him, "The words that you have used is not appreciated, I have felt hurt and I request you to apologize." (Assertiveness says that you can only request, neither can order nor demand.)

P.S. : Don't try the above during a street fight.

When it comes to love relationship, fight the fear of losing your partner, get courageous and put forward your viewpoint in a humble way. Believe me, your partner would never think of leaving you.

Paisa bada yaan pyar?

Robbie speaks on Priorities in life

This is my another favorite topic. But first just let me explain what I mean by this topic. Once I was asked a related kind of question during the contest of Mr. Farewell at the butt of my graduation. "If you have to choose between Family, Love and money, what would you do?"
A straight answer would never had made me win that title. So the answer went on like this, "Take a jar. Put some stones in it till the top. You will see some spaces left between them. Now put pebbles into it. Still you will find spaces between them. Now put sand. You will now find the jar full. Here, stones represent family, pebbles as love and sand as money. If you had put the sand first, the jar would have filled and no space would had left for stones and pebbles. So if you prioritize money, family and love goes far away.

There are more things hooked into that we can include here. So lets do a small exercise. Prioritize the following and write to me about it:

1) God
2) Friends
3) Money
4) Family
5) Love (it could be your spouse)
6) Work (priority other than source of money)
7) Education

Do remember that the selected item should have a higher ranking on the cost of other.

Main kaun hoon???

Robbie Speaks on "Who am I"

The title "main kaun hoon??" certainly sounds like a dialogue from a RK Films Production classic movie when the heroine wakes up from coma and people seem to mount on her only to find her suffering from amnesia.

Well this could have been the case. But here, I am sharing with you a critical situation in an interview when the interviewer starts grilling with the initial question like "Tell me something about you" or sometimes addressing the interviewee with his or her name asking "So who is actually "Sarkeshwar". Or maybe how about asking you, "What is the meaning of your name?", "Do you really are what your name suggests?"

This reminds me of a very funny incident which I would like to share with you all. Once I was taking a mock interview. The interviewee name was Amit. I asked him, "So who is Amit?" He replied, "Sir, I'm Amit."
Surely tells me about the presence of mind of that candidate. I'm not criticizing him, it's just that nobody taught him.

... Now how to handle all this?

Firstly, why on earth do I really need to write about it? Because this is the only time when you can guide the interview. Your statements would lead to other popped up questions. The way you choose your words, remarks, opinions and expressions would tell the tale.

Secondly, you should also know what the interviewer is trying to gauge. People have lot of wrong notions about interviews and the interviewers. Let's say he has something from your favorite subject which you fail to give the correct answer. Does that mean who lost your chance? I would say, "Not really".

Please remember, there is no right or wrong answer. There is always a right or a wrong response!!

Important issue is how to prepare yourself in this situation and what all you need to actually talk about while you introduce yourself.

The introduction involves, your career goal, education qualification, co-curricular activities, extra-curricular activities, hobbies, interests and achievements. You can always spice them up.

Your records will tell the complete story when you have mentioned them on a piece of paper. So start writing them down now.

Jwaala mukhi

Robbie speaks about Anger Management...

You might have come across many people who are introvert by nature. They like to stay aloof. You may find them in a corner of a crowded social gathering. Low in confidence, normally bullied within their group and submissive. That timid looking face would be found taciturn and tolerant for sometime. Suddenly that iffy looking chap goes hot under the collar. If you think the knee-jerk was impetuous. Think again. It has been this poor guy's story since long. Lets perforate the guy's cerebrum and do some cognition.

There are three behavioral types - submissiveness, aggressive and assertiveness. Submissiveness is respecting others at the cost of own. Aggression is respecting own self at the cost of others. Assertiveness is mutual respect. Anger ranges between irritation and rage. Therefore it's a step up from submissive gear to aggressive gear. The person stays quiet till he can tolerate and finally explodes when he can't.

Assertiveness is the key to control the "jwala mukhi".

Want to know more about it? Please Ask. And yeah don't forget to give the Myers Briggs Test (http://www.myersbriggs.org/).

Beta Engineer yaan doctor Bano!!

Robbie speaks on Career...


"So Mr. Sharma, you have completed your graduation in Mechanical Engineering, why do you want to join our Marketing team?"

Mr Sharma fumbles, "Sir, um actually..."

"Thank you Mr. Sharma. It was nice talking to you"

Mr. Sharma comes back home with his head down pondering on the very reason of taking up engineering as his career path.

After the introspection, an instant flashback runs in his mind. His father suggesting him, "Son you have scored well in your secondary level examination, you should try for engineering or medical field". And there he was, getting through the best of Engineering colleges. At that time even his father did not have the privilege to browse through the net and search for better options from some of the top sites say, http://www.careerkey.org/

Now his eyes are wide open. The only question that circling his mind is "what now?" What do i want to do in life? What is that interests me the most? What are my strengths? What are my resources that I can capitalize on to succeed? Are all my four years of studying calculus have gone waste? And last but not the least, what is my career goal?

To put in simple words, career goal is to achieve success in work that interests you the most. There can be X,Y,Z paths to achieve your goal. Which one to select is your call.

Your strengths / weaknesses can only come with introspection or by asking your close friends, family members and peers.

No study goes waste ever. That is one of your biggest resources, a kind of platform that you have built for yourself to ring the ladder up for exponential growth and success.

Bole toh Bindaas!!

Robbie Speaks on Discipline...

"It's my life", "I will do whatever I want", "I need space", "Rules are meant to be broken"
These words sometimes pierce into your ears and then your heart. There is a very thin line between discipline and feudalism, freedom and delinquency.

Littering on the roads, disregard for traffic rules, extra-marital affairs, all these things extend that thin line to infinity. Empathy is the most alienated word today. Antipathy shines. People have a tunnel shaped perspective in terms of understanding the utmost requirements of an enthralled individual in the society.

Teenagers are regulated in terms of going out with friends too often thinking themselves treated as slaves. Parents advise the nubile to get married to a well suited person for the whole family. You know the reply.

Family values, culture and social responsibility have become spineless. The elders are surviving on retirement pension plans. The once bread and butter provider has to re-think to ask his kids for a set of dentures. Expectation is his life support system

If you think, this has become too serious to talk about, this was a contemplative issue way back.

Tu tu main main

Robbie speaks on people's act...

You wake up on one Monday morning (Yes, I'm talking about those Monday blues). On Sunday, you had a fight with your girl friend / wife on the issue of spending little time with each other. You are frustrated about it, therefore you skip your breakfast. While driving, lot of uncouth words are exchanged with other drivers who are supposedly getting late for the office. On reaching the office gate, you start yelling on the gate-keeper for not keeping a proper check which led to a scratch on the car's bumper. On entering the office reception you frown at the receptionist because she was not able to connect your call to your friend whom you wanted to plan for the weekend with and you then straight head towards office canteen for a filthy sandwich and an ugly cup of tea. At that time you felt like puking on your colleague's check printed trousers. To drag the matter further, you make yourself ready for an altercation with the canteen owner. In between the barter of those jarring words, you suddenly get a call from your "chivalrous" boss who wants to discuss about a pending project right away. The anxious boss is happy to see you because he couldn't find a better person since morning to take out his own frustration. When the office was quietly working, the only euphonious sounds that were coming were from the boss's cabin. "I quit", a very familiar jargon, which is like a cliche now-a-days, is either being used or thought of. No need to mention, after coming out of the boss's cabin you had few uneasy discussions with your adjacent cabin holders before you leave for the day.

So guys, think again. A Journey called life has taken a blind turn. The choice is yours, You may honk, slow down, give way to the coming traffic or speed up and bang in.

No Gyan only bakwaas

Robbie speaks on success...

How many of you people had been nagged in your childhood for being a useless, clumsy, naive kid??
When you started going to the college, your stature changed to a rowdy, bully and a troublemaker.

Sounds familiar? Well I'm talking about a category of people with not much of a great intellect but end up doing something lunatic, unique, commendable and then you feel like a scholar at the end of the day.

The journey had begun from self-ignorance to Self-realization . Reasons are good enough to know, how a loser can become a winner.

Life is like a roller-coaster, you fall only to rise. The success is earned by a thinker. A thinker who believes in a systematic way of approaching a problem, understanding it and finally solving it by following a process. Process, my dear friend, is the supreme ideology. It's a ladder that takes to the zenith of eminence.

There are two things you need to keep in mind, efficiency and effectiveness. Efficiency is doing things in the right manner and effectiveness is doing the right thing. Both are equally important. You might be efficient in applying the process but are you effective enough to fathom the rightness of the path you are moving on? Similarly, efficiency has no alternative. Even dabba-walas in Mumbai follow six-sigma concept.

Positive thinking is another widget that fortifies your perseverance. It's your perspective that changes the world you live in. Giving up is easy. "I can do it" thinking will make your sweat glands work over time. Sweating is good, makes you fit and burns extra calories for sure. Now that's positive thinking.