The Moments were gay but not happy

Hello friends,
My writings are taking a new twirl today. The title that you have just read isn't funny as it seems to be. Here, I am talking about a very serious concern. This is regarding a real tragedy that occurred in one of my friends' life. She, a caring, homely and a god fearing person migrated to U.S. with her family some years ago. Like any true Indian married an Indian guy who was settled in U.S. Rather than the "lovey dovey" moments to share, she faced the horrors of her life. She found her husband to be a gay. He married a woman to hide his homosexuality from the world. Even his parents deliberately never accepted the fact. Rather, they threatened the girl, if she speaks against him or his family. She was ill-treated, bullied for two years. The "Indian girl", never came out of the shell, until this year she decided to get separate. Fellows, I need your help. Let us all spread this to give her justice and to expose the person and that family so that they don't do it someone else. Why just them, we should set example for others who have these evil intentions.

I want you guys to copy and paste the above and send it across to all the people you know across the globe.

SIMPLICITY HAS COST TO PAY

Sometimes things aren’t that complicated, the way we think they are. One of the biggest virtues of humanity is forgiveness. Lot of things get simplified by just forgiving and forgetting. We just need to give a damn about things disconcerting us in daily life. Everybody make mistakes. With everybody I mean everybody, even the plaintiff. That doesn’t mean we keep on pointing out those mistakes now and then to make the other person feel culpable. Take it light. Despite the difference in opinion, think and talk about things that went positive. Do not jump to conclusions. Take the discussion to a different note. More importantly, speak politely. You are still coupled to the accused. You have shared beautiful memories. You explored the meaning of a major part of life with the person. Just think once before you use harsh words. Has the accused done such a mammoth thing that has changed the course of relationship or would your words change it later? Secondly, do the warm gestures of the accused in the past are worth enough to compensate for the mistakes or did the person really deserve the bricks and bats for the doings? Think what you missed for those moments. You would have shared the smiles instead. You would have discussed the nice things that happened in the day. So think. Think deeply. Think Simple.

Jai Baba Love Guru !!

Robbie narrates the "speech" of a Love Guru

I went to a wedding last week and came across a group of people who were discussing about the success of love marriage over an arranged marriage. A very opinion-based discussion but let it be. So among them was a "Love Guru" who was gifting gyan on how to carry a successful love relationship. He wasn't that high, so we gladly grasp the tricks.

He started with his one of the most interesting and commonly heard cases. The couple were having frequent quarrels over the issue of not having "adequate space".

The girl was accusing the guy for being over-possessive and the guy was complaining that she spends lesser time with him. So on listening to this, before we could comment on anything, the guru instructed us not to find faults in any of them. The mantra, he says, is not finding faults in the other person but understanding the other's perspective. He goes on by saying that he took the feedback from the couple separately. The girl said that she has lot other priorities in life and she wants to accomplish her tasks with complete concentration. At that time she doesn't even want to attend her boyfriend's call. The guy, on the other hand says that I can't think of anything else but her, so all he wants is to be with her or talk to her. Suddenly, the irresistible factor plunged in one of us with a query, "Does that mean, the guy loves the girl more than she does?" And not surprisingly, he vomited, "May be the girl in cheating on him. I know, all females have the tendency to do that." The guru pronounced, "My dear friend, you are suffering from Generic Perception syndrome."

Now the next step for the guru was to stimulate the couple's thinking process. Firstly, he had to cure the girl's behavioral attitude towards the guy when she is busy with her work. The guru just simply asked her that during working hours on phone, did she ever tried talking to the guy so to make him feel warm and also making him understand, the kind of pressure and tension she goes through? Because that will not only make him feel secure but also make him understand her perspective while on work. The girl realized it instantly and she felt better within. Then the guru went to the guy and advised him to identify his own-self and to work on his self-esteem. The guru made him focus on the goal to be achieved in his life so that we can stand tall and build his own persona.

Now the couple, not just are staying happily together, but growing well with their individualities. Thanks to Love Guru for he made that wedding possible ;-)

Sab Mard ek jaise hote hain...hun

Robbie speaks on ... well very difficult to give a title to this topic...

I thought I've been very wishy-washy in my writings, so I should come to the original me and attract some controversies. This "no name" topic is like adding fuel to the fire. There are some cliche' that you come across everyday like "all men are the same","You know women, they are like that"and so on and so forth. Firstly, I salute to the lion hearts who wrote books like "men are from Mars and women are from Venus" and "Why men don't listen and women can't read maps". They have done a good job to make us understand the psyche and at the end only to confuse us more.

I have heard people saying that a man and a woman are like poles apart. And immediately they will throw the next statement saying that opposite attracts. Amazing! Isn't it?

There were few points that I absorbed from my readings and I would like to brief in here.

1) Men are target oriented. They want to complete the work in a stipulated time. So "people" who wonder how men shop 4 shirts, 2 trousers and 1 pair of shoes in 15 minutes, would now understand what I mean. Unlike women for whom shopping is like a sport and a stress buster.

2) Women are bad drivers. Provoking statement? Well don't get furious honey! Spatial intelligence is what you lack.

3) Kitty party is the best example that explains the prophecy that women are going to speak and listen to each others' fireworks simultaneously. Why? Astonishingly both the hemispheres of their brain work harmoniously. Men "sadly" can do just one thing at one time.

4) Men are found ogling. On the other hand, if you are a smart guy, you would only be able catch a woman checking you out with a skewed sight. The reason is simple, men have tunneled-shaped vision and females have wide angled vision.

Now, who is better, a man or a woman?

Assertiveness ... Part 2

Let me just come back to one of my previous posts on assertiveness. Assertiveness is sporadic in nature and there is one more moot point in here and that is "relationship". Behavior differs in every situation and in every relationship. Say, one could be befittingly assertive with one's friends but becomes submissive with one's love.

Normally, I have seen people submissive in two ways. One, as a fear of losing the loved ones. Second is when you don't want to enter into any kind of trouble, so you timidly gulp the cacophonous acidic words. The normal tendency is to get aggressive during a tense situation. So how to handle it? Ignoring isn't a bad idea until a certain limit. Now again, what should be termed as a "limit"?

There are two domains, public and a private domain. Lets say, while introducing yourself in a new place, you talk about your public profile. With your friends, you share your personal profile. Likewise, you are comfortable till a general leg-pulling but until some big-mouth starts passing personal comments. This means that someone is trying to infiltrate your private domain without your consent. That is the time when you should assert by putting your message across about prohibiting the pervasion. That is, telling the person about the hit, the damage and the repair. For instance, a person insults you. Tell him, "The words that you have used is not appreciated, I have felt hurt and I request you to apologize." (Assertiveness says that you can only request, neither can order nor demand.)

P.S. : Don't try the above during a street fight.

When it comes to love relationship, fight the fear of losing your partner, get courageous and put forward your viewpoint in a humble way. Believe me, your partner would never think of leaving you.

Paisa bada yaan pyar?

Robbie speaks on Priorities in life

This is my another favorite topic. But first just let me explain what I mean by this topic. Once I was asked a related kind of question during the contest of Mr. Farewell at the butt of my graduation. "If you have to choose between Family, Love and money, what would you do?"
A straight answer would never had made me win that title. So the answer went on like this, "Take a jar. Put some stones in it till the top. You will see some spaces left between them. Now put pebbles into it. Still you will find spaces between them. Now put sand. You will now find the jar full. Here, stones represent family, pebbles as love and sand as money. If you had put the sand first, the jar would have filled and no space would had left for stones and pebbles. So if you prioritize money, family and love goes far away.

There are more things hooked into that we can include here. So lets do a small exercise. Prioritize the following and write to me about it:

1) God
2) Friends
3) Money
4) Family
5) Love (it could be your spouse)
6) Work (priority other than source of money)
7) Education

Do remember that the selected item should have a higher ranking on the cost of other.

Main kaun hoon???

Robbie Speaks on "Who am I"

The title "main kaun hoon??" certainly sounds like a dialogue from a RK Films Production classic movie when the heroine wakes up from coma and people seem to mount on her only to find her suffering from amnesia.

Well this could have been the case. But here, I am sharing with you a critical situation in an interview when the interviewer starts grilling with the initial question like "Tell me something about you" or sometimes addressing the interviewee with his or her name asking "So who is actually "Sarkeshwar". Or maybe how about asking you, "What is the meaning of your name?", "Do you really are what your name suggests?"

This reminds me of a very funny incident which I would like to share with you all. Once I was taking a mock interview. The interviewee name was Amit. I asked him, "So who is Amit?" He replied, "Sir, I'm Amit."
Surely tells me about the presence of mind of that candidate. I'm not criticizing him, it's just that nobody taught him.

... Now how to handle all this?

Firstly, why on earth do I really need to write about it? Because this is the only time when you can guide the interview. Your statements would lead to other popped up questions. The way you choose your words, remarks, opinions and expressions would tell the tale.

Secondly, you should also know what the interviewer is trying to gauge. People have lot of wrong notions about interviews and the interviewers. Let's say he has something from your favorite subject which you fail to give the correct answer. Does that mean who lost your chance? I would say, "Not really".

Please remember, there is no right or wrong answer. There is always a right or a wrong response!!

Important issue is how to prepare yourself in this situation and what all you need to actually talk about while you introduce yourself.

The introduction involves, your career goal, education qualification, co-curricular activities, extra-curricular activities, hobbies, interests and achievements. You can always spice them up.

Your records will tell the complete story when you have mentioned them on a piece of paper. So start writing them down now.