Life - A chocolate mould

One day my wife was preparing her delicious home-made chocolate and I was given the work of wrapping them up. As usual I was lost in my thoughts staring at one of the mould slabs that had different shapes and sizes. Suddenly I was thrilled to feel that the slab had the entire meaning of life hidden in it. While you were thinking that I had gone crazy, my wife politely asked me "How?"

Well, the answer was simple. If you look at the different spheres of life - profession, family life, social life and your personal time that you spend with your own self are life's different moulds. The way you shape them up and the flavors you add, would eventually give you the taste of life.

The chocolate making process and life got co-related in a very out of the ordinary way with a recent incident. We (My wife and I) were exhibiting our chocolates in a mall and there I bumped into my old classmate who was running one of his showrooms there. Sitting with him and listening to his different business ventures, it was getting impossible to really gauge his wealth then. To avoid feeling awkward any further, I simply asked him, “So, you must be having fun of your life with your family and friends!” His straight answer made me feel so miserable for him. I really thought at that moment that I was the richest of all. He said, “Brother, today is Sunday and I’m in my office. I even have to go to my other offices for routine visits. My wife does not like socializing and neither do I. I think dining out with friends is just waste of time. Even going out for movie is stupid. But for change, I go once in two months. I go out to foreign trips for business only but alone as my wife doesn’t like that either.”

So, it seemed the work mould was getting filled up or rather over flowing and the cocoa beans were getting over burnt to make the chocolate taste too bitter to enjoy.

I don’t really want to get too critical for this richly-poor guy. Yes, he is enjoying his life in his own “sweet” way. He is looking at life with a different perspective unlike me. But my simple question to people like these is when you are on your death bed, would you ever think that did I miss anything in life or what I earned in life is all what I really wanted? For me, this seems be a mould slab which has just one pocket filled and rest all empty. So eventually, I’m not getting the value for the life I spent.

When I keep writing all this, a very strong question pops up in my mind that has mankind really found a holistic answer to the reason of his very existence? If I club all the different spheres and name it the real reason, am I getting close? Hmmm, you can ponder on this later.

A human has a tendency to forget that he or she would never take the materialistic thing along after death. The meaning of life is veiled under those colorful wrappers that you open, just to lick on to the mouth-watering multi-flavored, multi-shaped chocolates. They are in the form of reasonable amount to spend for you and your family while getting satisfaction in your professional work, keeping in touch with your friends, bringing up your children by spending quality time with them and providing them with best possible education and cultural values. There is so much effort behind all this that helps you to build the shape of life. This is like how big and tastier the chocolate is.

Getting back to our chocolate stall, a child visited and started pleading to his father for a piece of chocolate. The father snubbed him and harshly took him away. The child cried, sprawled on the ground and did every possible move but all in vain. I wondered that for a petty demand, if you can really thwart your child’s excitement? Have you forgotten that one day you would be old, weak and financially dependent? On the contrary, we you had smiled, handed him a piece and held his hand as you are with him forever, the child would have remembered this for years to come.

On reading this, you might have an argument to make that not everyone gets a satisfactory job or healthy family culture or even basic human needs. Well, the contradiction to this is simple. There are different qualities of chocolates available in stores. The point is how you enjoy, stay happy and live your life with full satisfaction.

Pursuit of Happiness

Pursuit of Happiness

Interviewer: So, Mr. Harmeet, tell me, what is the ultimate goal of your life?
Harmeet: Sir, I want to be happy.
Interviewer: And how do you seek that?
Harmeet: Sir, to tell you the truth, I’m still trying to figure that out, but all I know is whatever I do, at the end of the day, I get a peaceful and a sound sleep.
Interviewer: Thank you, Mr. Harmeet. It was rejuvenating, talking to you.

It’s a remarkable quote, “The road to happiness is always under-construction.”
Getting two meals per day is bliss for a pauper. Ringing up the ladders of success at work is ecstasy. A lad getting his love line underway on the Valentine’s day is paradise. A candy to an adolescent brings a smile on his face. The tune of accolades for a performer is a great pleasure. So, it depends upon one’s age, individuality and circumstances. The various facets that I figured out to attain happiness were very fundamental. These are love, wealth, health, career, societal, humanitarian, entertainment & recreational. They all instigate one’s emotions. (We cannot miss to mention the Maslow’s theory of motivation here for sure.) These (emotions) have their respective effects depending upon the outcome. There is a very thin line between fulfilling the basic needs and greed. The pre-requisite of joy is by clinging to ethics, dearth of which can only make you feel miserable.
Therefore, with the potpourri of all these factors and aspects, I can only say that the road to happiness starts with assorted lanes, which after converging, emerge at a well-built boulevard of contentment.

The Moments were gay but not happy

Hello friends,
My writings are taking a new twirl today. The title that you have just read isn't funny as it seems to be. Here, I am talking about a very serious concern. This is regarding a real tragedy that occurred in one of my friends' life. She, a caring, homely and a god fearing person migrated to U.S. with her family some years ago. Like any true Indian married an Indian guy who was settled in U.S. Rather than the "lovey dovey" moments to share, she faced the horrors of her life. She found her husband to be a gay. He married a woman to hide his homosexuality from the world. Even his parents deliberately never accepted the fact. Rather, they threatened the girl, if she speaks against him or his family. She was ill-treated, bullied for two years. The "Indian girl", never came out of the shell, until this year she decided to get separate. Fellows, I need your help. Let us all spread this to give her justice and to expose the person and that family so that they don't do it someone else. Why just them, we should set example for others who have these evil intentions.

I want you guys to copy and paste the above and send it across to all the people you know across the globe.

SIMPLICITY HAS COST TO PAY

Sometimes things aren’t that complicated, the way we think they are. One of the biggest virtues of humanity is forgiveness. Lot of things get simplified by just forgiving and forgetting. We just need to give a damn about things disconcerting us in daily life. Everybody make mistakes. With everybody I mean everybody, even the plaintiff. That doesn’t mean we keep on pointing out those mistakes now and then to make the other person feel culpable. Take it light. Despite the difference in opinion, think and talk about things that went positive. Do not jump to conclusions. Take the discussion to a different note. More importantly, speak politely. You are still coupled to the accused. You have shared beautiful memories. You explored the meaning of a major part of life with the person. Just think once before you use harsh words. Has the accused done such a mammoth thing that has changed the course of relationship or would your words change it later? Secondly, do the warm gestures of the accused in the past are worth enough to compensate for the mistakes or did the person really deserve the bricks and bats for the doings? Think what you missed for those moments. You would have shared the smiles instead. You would have discussed the nice things that happened in the day. So think. Think deeply. Think Simple.

Jai Baba Love Guru !!

Robbie narrates the "speech" of a Love Guru

I went to a wedding last week and came across a group of people who were discussing about the success of love marriage over an arranged marriage. A very opinion-based discussion but let it be. So among them was a "Love Guru" who was gifting gyan on how to carry a successful love relationship. He wasn't that high, so we gladly grasp the tricks.

He started with his one of the most interesting and commonly heard cases. The couple were having frequent quarrels over the issue of not having "adequate space".

The girl was accusing the guy for being over-possessive and the guy was complaining that she spends lesser time with him. So on listening to this, before we could comment on anything, the guru instructed us not to find faults in any of them. The mantra, he says, is not finding faults in the other person but understanding the other's perspective. He goes on by saying that he took the feedback from the couple separately. The girl said that she has lot other priorities in life and she wants to accomplish her tasks with complete concentration. At that time she doesn't even want to attend her boyfriend's call. The guy, on the other hand says that I can't think of anything else but her, so all he wants is to be with her or talk to her. Suddenly, the irresistible factor plunged in one of us with a query, "Does that mean, the guy loves the girl more than she does?" And not surprisingly, he vomited, "May be the girl in cheating on him. I know, all females have the tendency to do that." The guru pronounced, "My dear friend, you are suffering from Generic Perception syndrome."

Now the next step for the guru was to stimulate the couple's thinking process. Firstly, he had to cure the girl's behavioral attitude towards the guy when she is busy with her work. The guru just simply asked her that during working hours on phone, did she ever tried talking to the guy so to make him feel warm and also making him understand, the kind of pressure and tension she goes through? Because that will not only make him feel secure but also make him understand her perspective while on work. The girl realized it instantly and she felt better within. Then the guru went to the guy and advised him to identify his own-self and to work on his self-esteem. The guru made him focus on the goal to be achieved in his life so that we can stand tall and build his own persona.

Now the couple, not just are staying happily together, but growing well with their individualities. Thanks to Love Guru for he made that wedding possible ;-)

Sab Mard ek jaise hote hain...hun

Robbie speaks on ... well very difficult to give a title to this topic...

I thought I've been very wishy-washy in my writings, so I should come to the original me and attract some controversies. This "no name" topic is like adding fuel to the fire. There are some cliche' that you come across everyday like "all men are the same","You know women, they are like that"and so on and so forth. Firstly, I salute to the lion hearts who wrote books like "men are from Mars and women are from Venus" and "Why men don't listen and women can't read maps". They have done a good job to make us understand the psyche and at the end only to confuse us more.

I have heard people saying that a man and a woman are like poles apart. And immediately they will throw the next statement saying that opposite attracts. Amazing! Isn't it?

There were few points that I absorbed from my readings and I would like to brief in here.

1) Men are target oriented. They want to complete the work in a stipulated time. So "people" who wonder how men shop 4 shirts, 2 trousers and 1 pair of shoes in 15 minutes, would now understand what I mean. Unlike women for whom shopping is like a sport and a stress buster.

2) Women are bad drivers. Provoking statement? Well don't get furious honey! Spatial intelligence is what you lack.

3) Kitty party is the best example that explains the prophecy that women are going to speak and listen to each others' fireworks simultaneously. Why? Astonishingly both the hemispheres of their brain work harmoniously. Men "sadly" can do just one thing at one time.

4) Men are found ogling. On the other hand, if you are a smart guy, you would only be able catch a woman checking you out with a skewed sight. The reason is simple, men have tunneled-shaped vision and females have wide angled vision.

Now, who is better, a man or a woman?

Assertiveness ... Part 2

Let me just come back to one of my previous posts on assertiveness. Assertiveness is sporadic in nature and there is one more moot point in here and that is "relationship". Behavior differs in every situation and in every relationship. Say, one could be befittingly assertive with one's friends but becomes submissive with one's love.

Normally, I have seen people submissive in two ways. One, as a fear of losing the loved ones. Second is when you don't want to enter into any kind of trouble, so you timidly gulp the cacophonous acidic words. The normal tendency is to get aggressive during a tense situation. So how to handle it? Ignoring isn't a bad idea until a certain limit. Now again, what should be termed as a "limit"?

There are two domains, public and a private domain. Lets say, while introducing yourself in a new place, you talk about your public profile. With your friends, you share your personal profile. Likewise, you are comfortable till a general leg-pulling but until some big-mouth starts passing personal comments. This means that someone is trying to infiltrate your private domain without your consent. That is the time when you should assert by putting your message across about prohibiting the pervasion. That is, telling the person about the hit, the damage and the repair. For instance, a person insults you. Tell him, "The words that you have used is not appreciated, I have felt hurt and I request you to apologize." (Assertiveness says that you can only request, neither can order nor demand.)

P.S. : Don't try the above during a street fight.

When it comes to love relationship, fight the fear of losing your partner, get courageous and put forward your viewpoint in a humble way. Believe me, your partner would never think of leaving you.